Define what you are feeling
The only way to heal is to first figure out what’s broken. The first step in letting go of resentment is identifying where it came from. Speaking it out has the greatest impact on your ability to achieve this. Meeting with a mental health professional or family member aware of how you’re feeling can be freeing. Instead of writing a letter you’ll never send, compose one that you’ll forget to send one day. The individual who caused your anger could be the target of your wrath in an open letter, while the person who supports you could be the recipient of your words in a journal you keep for yourself. The most critical step is determining what caused the problem in the first place. Due to the fact that it provokes unpleasant feelings and forces you to revisit painful memories, this can be quite tough. It’s possible that you’ll shed a tear. That’s all right! When you’re stressed, your body releases tears as a means of letting it go.
Find a meditation app
Second-hand emotions such as resentment, rage, and anxiety all spring from fundamental feelings such as humiliation, vulnerability, and discomfort. When working on letting go, it’s critical to allow yourself permission to feel all of your basic emotions. It was created by an anxiety expert and doctor, Dr. Jud Brewer, to assist patients in reducing negative secondary emotions substantially through mindfulness. There are also apps, such as Calm and Headspace, that lead users through guided meditations that focus on reclaiming the energy of negative emotions. This might help you get to the root of your resentment so you can deal with it and move on.
Put an end to your bitterness.
Put an end to Toxic people in your life, such as ex-partners, ex-friends, and family members, are all common sources of resentment. Now that you’ve ended things with them, why not put an end to your resentment as well? It is highly recommended by the Clarity Clinic to put as much distance between you and your ex as possible. Get rid of (or hide from view) stay clear of anything that makes you angry as you move around your area. Sell the book that your emotionally abusive ex-boss gave you and make some money. Consider donating the sweater you wore to work when you were made fun of by your employer. When you’re done, be surrounded by individuals who care about and respect you. Go out and buy a new sweater for yourself. Pick up and read a book that was recommended to you by someone you look up to.
Shift your point of view.
Work on Self-distancing from Negative feelings. Self-distancing is the practice of picturing a situation as if you were observing it from a far. Reexamine the event that’s been causing you stress without assuming what the other party was thinking or feeling at the time. What were the person’s actions? What were the individual’s exact words? Consider this exercise as a technique to remove your subjective perceptions in favor of a more objective view of the facts. The healing process will be approached from a self-reflective and problem-solving space rather of an emotionally reactive one if you practice self-distancing.
Accept your resentment and move on
Thirsty Spiteful Grudge-holders looking for vengeance may find this practice appealing at first, but it goes well beyond simply allowing grudges to fester. When it comes to healing, Sophie Hannah’s book on How to Hold a Grudge takes an uncommon method. It boils down to this: There’s a lesson to be learned from your resentment. Nothing will get accomplished if it just sits there. As a result, Hannah urges that you experience all of the sensations related with your resentment and write out the narrative of your actions, including what you believe was right back then and what you believe would be the right thing to do in the now. Afterwards, think about what you got out of it. Instead of asking for forgiveness, this exercise asks you to express gratitude for the person who has helped you learn a valuable lesson. Hugging my resentment … lol
Flip it (I strongly believe in this method)
It’s helpful to put yourself in another person’s shoes to get a better understanding of their perspective, where they’re coming from, and why they behave the way they do. I read this book by Judith Orloff, MD called Emotional Freedom, and in her book she speaks about understanding another person’s trauma leads to greater compassion for others. To be able to forgive, one must have compassion, or real sympathy for the plight of others. This perspective shifts our perception of how we deal with others when we realize that a person’s behavior is more likely to reflect their baggage than our performance. Write down any activities you took that harmed the other individual as well.
Decide on a phrase that will make you feel good.
More than 150 certified therapists in Chicago form Urban Balance, promote the importance of using positive language. Choose a term or phrase that stimulates feelings of thankfulness or understanding instead of allowing resentment to cloud your mind. Try out alternative ways of phrasing that have personal meaning to you and can help you change your perspective. Aristotle once said, “Patience is a sour, but it’s reward is sweet.” Or words like “Let it go” or “forgive” could be all it is. When animosity starts to seep in, use this mantra to put a stop to it. At first, this technique may seem monotonous, but with practice, it can help eliminate or at least minimize unpleasant emotions. Additionally, it serves as a wonderful complement to the other exercises on this list.
Lay off making FALSE STATEMENTS
One method to ensure that resentment becomes entrenched is to keep bringing up the person who caused the problem and saying lies about that person to ruin their image with others. Forgiveness can be achieved in numerous ways, including refraining from disparaging the person who caused your rage and hatred. This doesn’t mean you should stop talking about them, but you should hold your tongue when you’re tempted to relate an unpleasant story about them by Making up lies. Refraining from using derogatory words will help open the door to forgiveness.
Releasing resentment is a long-term process that cannot be accomplished in a single effort. There are a number of strategies on this list that target different muscle groups, so they won’t be suitable for everyone. But Try them all and keep what works while letting go of what doesn’t.